Sadly, most people think swinging is all about indiscriminate sex. This is the reason so many people join Adult Friend Finder, as they assume that “it’s the largest swingers dating site, so it must be the best place to hook up.” But there’s a reason why their average account lasts less than 4 months.
The little known truth about swinging is that you “come for the sex, but stay for the friendships.”
And that’s why in the lifestyle Adult Friend Finder is known as “every swingers first mistake” - we all saw the member counts, joined in hopes of hooking up and left with a hollow feeling.
The Dirty On Swinging
So why isn’t swinging just indiscriminate sex? For the same reason it wasn’t when you were in college. There has to be some physical and mental chemistry and a high level of mutual attraction to create an erotic, lustful situation where you want to […]

If you’re interested in having a threesome with your friends, you might be a little intimidated about how to approach the situation. Even if you or your friends have hinted at it or joked about it before, it can seem a little awkward bringing up the topic seriously. How can you approach that subject with your friends without risking anything? Dear Dan and Jennifer,   I’m 34 years old and have recently won a 3 yr battle with cancer. I have a new lease on life and want to live it to the fullest. I have an absolute best guy friend, “Rick”, who is dating my best friend “Abbie”. I have been thinking a lot lately about having a threesome with "Rick" and “Abbie”. I’m just not sure how to broach the subject with either of them. "Rick" and I have joked about it a few times before but […]

Swinging can be a fun and enjoyable way to expand your sexual relationship with your partner and spice up things in the bedroom. Inexperienced swingers, however, may find that the first few times are a little nerve wracking, especially if it involves a group of people. If you find yourself being nervous during a swinging session, you might need to back up a little bit until you get more comfortable. Dear Dan and Jennifer,   My wife and I just experienced our first swinger encounter, I am a very lucky man in having a wife that is so open to this. She was great – I, however, was a little nervous - so nervous that I had a difficult time getting an erection (this has never happened before!). I don’t know if it was the fact that I was being watched by 15 people or […]

You’ve made the jump into swinging. Congratulations! It takes a lot of courage to make the foray into swinging. There’s a reason for that though. Swinging doesn’t always work the way we hope it to. What do you do when swinging goes wrong? What happens if there’s a rift between you and your partner after swinging? What do you do?  Dear Dan and Jennifer,   My husband got quite close to his client. They eventually became attracted to each other. All 4 of us became close socially. Eventually we began to talk about a swap. We went on a short holiday. Both of them were very close and comfy with each other. Her husband and I were not and the situation got very uncomfortable. Nothing happened between any of the couples. But our marriages have been affected. My husband is still close to her. […]

If you’re looking to spice up your sex life, you might be looking into swinging. Swinging with a third person or even another couple can bring a new aspect of fun and excitement into your sex life that you never thought possible.  Some couples aren’t ready for swinging. You have to be comfortable, confident and above all, open and honest with each other. Do you have what it takes to be swingers?  Dear Dan and Jennifer,   I have a huge dilemma. My wife and I are very sexual, and have discussed at length our interest in the swinging lifestyle. We are both dying to explore the beginning stages, but have a problem. Besides being totally inexperienced, we are not physically fit and although we are very fun and engaging and have a lot of social adventures, we feel too uncomfortable to approach […]

As experienced swingers, the most common question we receive from those looking to get into the lifestyle is, “How do we start?” Where to look  Thanks to the internet, it is easier to become a swinger than ever before. As recently as the mid-1990’s, the most common way was by purchasing a contact magazine, usually at a seedy adult bookstore, and then mailing letters to the people who advertised therein. Swing clubs have existed since the 1970’s, but the only way you could find out about them was by word of mouth or through advertisements in underground publications. Today, the road to becoming a swinger starts with the click of a mouse. Whether you are looking for a classy swing club, a private house party, or a couple in your city, all of these things can be found on the internet. For those looking to […]

If you’re new to the swinging game, picking a partner that satisfies you and your husband or wife can seem kind of intimidating. You’re not alone! You’re right to be a little nervous about picking a swinging partner, especially if it’s your first time. You need to pick a swinging partner that you are both comfortable with and attracted to, or trouble can brew. If you and your partner can’t agree on who to swing with, should you compromise? Dear Dan and Jennifer,   My wife and I want to get into swinging. We’ve been talking about it for a little over 2 years now. She was the one who approached me with the idea. We have joined a swing site but the problem is that my wife doesn’t like my taste in woman.   I’m not into super thin women I like a […]

You and your partner have decided to have a threesome. You may even have someone in mind that you and your partner have both agreed on. If you’re about to take the plunge into the world of multiple partner sex, you may have a few questions on how to do it safely. Congratulations! Not everyone has safety on their mind before having a threesome. Here are some great ways to have safety in numbers. Dear Dan and Jennifer,   Hi.   Just wanted to say I think it is great what you two do.  My question is my girlfriend and I want to have a threesome with another female and we have one lined up. I know to use a condom but what about oral and other kinds of play? We don’t want to come home with some kind of STD.   Do you have any advice for […]

So you and your partner are thinking about swinging. Whether you’ve tried it once before or this is your first time, it can be nerve wracking when trying to ease yourself into the swinging lifestyle. How can you start swinging slowly, and in a way that makes both partners completely comfortable? While the only rules for swinging for you are set by you and your partner, there are some general guidelines that can help make things easier for the both of you. Dear Dan and Jennifer,   My fiancée and I are talking about trying the swinging lifestyle and we are a little unsure of how to start and move into it gradually so that everyone is comfortable. What do you suggest?   - Randa, Alabama Wait! Give this Video 5 Stars and Subscribe Today so you don’t miss a […]

We have heard so many stories about couples that were confronted or "outed" by friends, family or co-workers about their "lifestyle" and they simply didn’t know what to say. Caught off guard, they stumbled, mumbled and bumbled through their explanation, leaving little or no doubt that they were indeed "Swingers". "If my (mother, boss, kids, etc…) knew what we do… they’d disown us! It would be a disaster!" We have heard it 1,000 times. Interestingly, in most instances the opposite is the case. A countless number of couples have told us that when their family and friends did find out, things actually got better, not worse. Coming Clean In our case, Tess thought her conservative family would freak out if they discovered our personal lives (and our lifestyle related business!). Then, one New Year’s Day, we awoke to a phone call from her mom. Still groggy, Tess stepped over […]